courtesy of 3poppies photography

Thursday, 29 September 2011

Waiting for the fog to clear

One of the most inconvenient symptoms of M.E/CFS is Brain fog. I say inconvenient, but what
I mean is debilitating, annoying and a knock to your self esteem. Brain fog is a term to describe the lack of concentration, difficulty learning new things, poor memory, inabilty to find the right word, etc that people suffering from M.E/CFS experience. Couple it with pregnancy/mummy brain and I've got no chance. I'm trying to enrol my eldest into nursery school, so I rang the school and left a message,which went like this - 'Hi,this is Jenny Barber, I'm ringing to enquire about the hours my son can attend your nursery for free. If you can ring me on 07885 ... er.. sorry i cant remember my mobile, if you can ring 012572 ... erm .. sorry, cant remember that one either. Would you be able to email me on..sorry, ...its...erm ... i*** Thanks'

I've come to learn to laugh at my poor brain now, but its not so easy for those who deal with
me. Getting lost as I've forgotten the way to familiar places, parties/appointments I've forgotten to go to, dinner disasters to name a few examples. My husband has the patience of a saint as my brainfog occurs daily and has been the cause of many a panic for one reason or another. When I was really poorly I was unable to read or watch tv for long. Now that I'm on the road to recovery I'm having to retrain my brain slowly. I'm reading again, but still can't concentrate or read the works i used to love, I'll have to wait a bit longer for Dickens. Writing this blog is also a way for me to improve my ability to recall words and form sentences, which seem so hard to do when I speak at times. I make endless lists for all sorts of things, and set alarms to remind myself to read them. I find this very useful, but I still forget :)
As annoyed as I get by brainfog I remind myself that this isnt me, its a symptom.

Wednesday, 28 September 2011


As I sit and watch my three month old kicking and gurgling in his play mat, whilst my two year old pushes his cars around the floor wearing only a vest and pumpkin hat I wonder what life would have been like had I not made the leap of faith to have a baby nearly three years ago.

Back then I suffered quite badly with M.E/CFS. I was barely able to walk or even sit up without feeling extreme fatigue and pain. Even though my husband and I had heard that pregnancy may cure my condition, we found little evidence to support it. We both desired to have children, but found the decision a hard one to make. Could I risk bringing a new life into the world when I could barely take care of myself? After lots of thought, discussions with family members and prayer, we decided to take the plunge and have never looked back.

I hope my blog about life with a family and M.E/CFS will aid others who are also making this decision, and give hints, tips, support to parents and those in the same boat and provide insight to the condition to those who know little about it.