courtesy of 3poppies photography

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Trials: time to give it up

I'm on a journey to get my baby better. I'm following a path, except I can't see which way to go, I'm being guided. Some parts of my journey have been straight forward and I've been able to see clearly the route I was to take. Other parts have been like shortcuts that have been rough to go through, but enabled me to go the right way more quickly than another route.
Now I find myself stuck, as if I've encountered dense fog that blocks my vision. I know I'm on the right path, but I don't know what to do next.
I misinterpreted this as silence, but after a conversation with my wise sister yesterday I now recognise that i need to wait. I have to carry on doing what I know to be right with my baby ... And then wait.
I don't know what I'm waiting for, but I don't need to know. I just need to know that this the right thing to do.

As you could probably guess from my last post I had reached a point where I can go no further. There was nothing else I could do. I saw my Perrin practitioner (for my health). Whilst she gave me a much needed massage I poured out my worries and cried all my tears out, she told me that I had to 'give it up'. Don't do any more research, and focus that attention on myself. She also recommended a nutritionist who specialises in these conditions and said I should let someone who knows take over. It all made a lot of sense to me, yet I didn't feel excited as I usually do when I think I've found a solution. I mulled over it for a day or so, and couldn't fathom why I didn't feel anything. I still don't know why. I don't feel like this is the next step for us, although I would love to 'give it up' to someone who knows.

I am going to 'give it up' though. I'm going to stop researching and trying to find solutions, for now. I'm going to carry on the low allergen diet for myself and baby. I'm going to continue giving him a low dose of omeprazole. I shall continue to ease his pain and help him sleep in anyway that is possible. But I will no longer spend hours researching and stressing about what I can do. I will wait to see what my next step is. I will 'give it up' to someone who knows .. The Lord.

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