Building palaces

Today is remembrance day. I never fail to be touched and humbled during the couple of minutes we spend in silence remembering the fallen and sacrifice they made for our freedom. The older I get, the more this means to me. I feel truly grateful for the freedom they gave their lives for.

Thinking of the horrors of war led me to think of the people i have heard of or spoken to this past year who seem to be going through the refiners fire. Some of their trials appear incomprehensible and my heart aches for them. At times I wondered was it really necessary?
I'd been pondering the purpose of this life for a while. Then I stumbled on a friends wall post on Facebook and some inspired person had quoted this from CS Lewis:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that these jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making court yards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. 

There it was, in words I could understand and make sense of. We are being made into palaces. Sometimes it feels as though we'd be content with a cottage if only the hard times would stop, but in those times we need to hold on to the picture of a palace and know we will get there!




My website : www.mecuperate.co.uk

Accomplishing goals: a new website!

A couple of posts ago I wrote about setting goals. I told you I would keep you posted on how they were going, and I'm pleased to announce I've accomplished one! Since I've suffered with ME I've had to rethink the idea of setting goals and very much had to follow Anne Shirley's advice in Anne of Green Gables. She says 'my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road... Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does.' Whenever I set a physical goal I don't know if I'll be able to accomplish it. ME is known for putting bends in roads in the form of relapses, or dips in the condition. It's not easy to find beauty in these bends, but even though at times I don't want to believe it, I know that these bends do happen for a reason.
So, with this in mind, I feel even more excited that I've been able to accomplish my goal of setting up a website to help those, like me, who suffer with ME/CFS and fibromyalgia. I did start with the lofty idea of developing it myself, but that was too taxing for my brain fogged, mummy brain. Instead, knights in shining armour, called Netheads (www.net-heads.co.uk) , came to my rescue and helped my dreams come to life.

My hope for my website is that it will provide an online community where people can find advice and support, a place to share recipes to help us eat the right foods to fuel our bodies, and a place we can feel inspired and share our talents. We've all got some talents or hobbies. Nowadays it might take us a lot longer to accomplish them than before, but I think it's so important to our self worth to keep on with them. There's also a forum for carers to find support too.

Please take a look at my site and join us: www.mecuperate.co.uk

Preparing for the season.

The nature of the beast with an ME blogger is only being able to write posts when the going is good. Now the cold weather is hitting I'm having to pool my energies into the most important tasks, which, as ever, are my two munchkins. Saving some for handsome man of course.

I think this winter will be the test to see if I've really learnt anything this past year. The cold weather hits me like a ton of bricks and I'm not afraid to say that I hate it. My darling baby-turned-toddler is still intolerant, he still sleeps horrendously and he still suffers from reflux. In the summer weeks, when I felt at my best, it was easy to cope. However, I'm not going into this winter blind, like last year, so now when things seem too much, I know what to do to be able to cope.

I need to ACCEPT that this is what I have to experience. I need to ASK for help when needed. I need to REMEMBER that the things that made me happy with less pain and fatigue, can still make me happy with more pain and fatigue. I need to TAKE IT EASY and cut back on the activity I increased in the warmer months. And most of all, I need to remember that GOD LOVES ME, it's easy to forget when things get a bit harder, but there's no better comfort than knowing that you've got one friend who's on your side!

All that said, I still love winter time, I love the smell in the air, I love the crisp leaves under foot, I love snuggling under blankets, I love my birthday, Halloween, bonfire night and Christmas. Tis a great season ... If only it wasn't so cold!



My website: www.mecuperate.co.uk

Setting goals

We had a lovely road trip last week. As we travelled for miles with our kids asleep in the back I wondered how we had come from a screaming baby who couldn't eat anything, to a fully weaned toddler, who is mostly happy as long as we stick to the right foods. Without realising it our little baby is growing up and we are loving the boy he's turning out to be. Sometimes I moan about still having to feed him off to sleep, but when I think of all those months we had to vigorously pace the floor rocking him to sleep for hours, I think of how much easier it is now and am grateful!

Our trip left us feeling rejuvenated and revigorated. We felt like coming home was a fresh start, a new beginning. It was the perfect time to set goals. There are a few things about my life that I'm not content with and want to change, and I'm a firm believer that we are masters of our own destinies. If you want to do something or be somebody you've got to put in the effort! I've made my list of the things I want to change/improve/accomplish and it's my job now to do it and keep motivated.

Now motivation usually isn't a problem for me if I deem the task in hand important or I really want to do it. My problems arise when I come across a stumbling block and then I struggle to think of solutions. Fortunately, as much as we are masters of our own destinies and need to do the work, if we ask we can receive divine guidance. If we set worthy goals then we will be entitled to guidance to find the solutions we are looking for.

Knowing this and putting it into practise  I should be successful in my endeavours ... I'll keep you posted!

Waiting for the good things

Last week I had my usual peruse on facebook and saw all the photos and status' of people going on holiday, watching the Olympics, having nights out. Not long after I found thoughts creeping in, slowly and subtly making me feel hard done by, trapped by my body and baby, and generally dissatisfied with life. I longed for a hot holiday, time to go out with my friends and husband without any kids, the ability to go on walks in the countryside... A bigger house on a quiet estate, a private chef, a cleaner. I think we all can empathise with the 'grass is greener' feeling.
I'd been doing so well with coping with it all, that I wondered why I couldn't shake off these thoughts now. And then I saw a book that a good friend had dropped off previously, which I hadn't had chance to read. It's titled 'When your prayers seem unanswered' by S. Michael Wilcox. Whilst the boys napped for a couple of hours I read the whole book, it's not too long, and it put everything back in perspective. The author explains that the Lord comes in His time, He can see when we are ready. I definitely recommend the book. Through reading it I remembered that this life isn't all there is. Essentially, it's a test. We're here to learn and grow and become the people that we need to be to live HAPPILY and with JOY and PEACE where we will live with our loved ones FOREVER. A moments hardship for an eternity of happiness. Granted, it doesn't feel like a moment, but I need to remember it is. We need to endure and endure well and learn the lessons we've been asked to learn. It's possible to do this only if we really do believe that good things will come. And they will, an eternity of good things. Good things also happen in this life, help will come, hard times will pass. We will have become better people for having been through them ... If we choose to be.

Remaining happy

After learning all I've learned over this past year I wondered why being happy still required effort. My little guy has had a few bad nights the last few weeks and these past few days have seen him be his grumpiest yet, just as we've trialled rice with him. It's easy to be happy when things are running smoothly but We are told that knowing what we know we should be a happy, joyful people in the midst of trials. .
So, I went back to the scriptures, back to the conference talks and prayed for guidance as I tried to find the answers of how to be truly happy, not dependant on circumstances.
I don't want you to think I'm really struggling. For the majority of the day I'm happy and smiling, but I still get easily upset when my son reacts to foods, or if my body makes life even more difficult that day. I shouldn't though, if I understand and apply the gospel properly.
The first lesson I learned was to be more GRATEFUL. It's surprising how much you realise your blessed with when you take note of everything you've been grateful for that day. This is a practise I highly recommend, if you want proof you're not doing this alone.
Secondly, ultimately the Lord knows best. He knows what will get you back to Him, so trust Him. When prayers are seemingly unanswered, believe there is a better reason for why.

Keeping the faith

I was asked to give a talk last Sunday, I said yes, but i really wanted to say no. Public speaking is definitely not in my comfort zone! Then you've got all the CFS worries - can I stand there for that length of time with all those nerves? How much pain am I going to feel after it?
I did it though, I had to, the subject was faith in adversity and that is what I have been trying to learn for this past year. Everything I said in my talk is what I've had to learn, the hard way, but it's true and it works.
So, here it is, my talk and the culmination of everything I've learned (and still learning) this past year.

Some challenges we face hit us hard and the burdens seem too heavy to bear. At times like this it can seem like we pray but feel no guidance or comfort and it can lead us to wonder where God is. The prophet Joseph smith had spent several dark months in liberty jail when In D&C 121 we read that he prayed 'O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?' 
The Lord gave Joseph a response that we can all apply in our lives 
"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
 "And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high." 
In our worldly time frames our afflictions don't seem like a small moment, some feel like they will last forever, but God has promised us they will end. The hard part is holding on to our faith in God and in his promises, when in the midst of trials. 

Accepting the challenge is a huge component in helping us to get through it. There is no benefit that comes through getting angry with your situation or wallowing in despair. These serve only to make the tough times harder and yourself and your family more miserable. When we agreed and even rejoiced to come down to earth we knew that it was a time of testing, and that we would go through good times and bad times.  Accept the bad times for what they are - Opportunities to learn the traits that will keep us strong in our times of trial. These are the traits that will enable us to live in peace, joy and harmony in the next life. Henry B Eyring said 'the disciple who accepts a trial as an invitation to grow and therefore qualify for eternal life can find peace in the midst of the struggle'. If we accept these opportunities for growth, our challenges can refine us into being the best people we can be. 

Once we have accepted that this is our life for the moment we can humble ourselves and open our hearts to the Spirit. Richard G Scott says 'yielding to emotions such as anger or hurt or defensiveness will drive away the Holy Ghost...' we need to go to the Lord in prayer humbly, quietly, so that His spirit can speak to us and we can feel it.' More often than not, the Spirit whispers to our hearts, or speaks peace to our souls. We need to free ourselves of the negative emotions that might hinder us from feeling these promptings and humbly pray for the guidance to help us through these hard times. 
Our prayers will be answered. 
When the Saviour atoned for us, he did not just atone for our sins, he also went through our sicknesses and our sorrows. In alma 7:11-12 it says  'And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.' He KNOWS how to succor us and He will if we ask Him. 
We need to give up our pains and sorrows and hand them over to the Lord. As the psalm says  "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee" . In turn, going through these experiences will enable us to help others when they go through their own trials. And serving others not only strengthens them but ourselves too, as president eyring states  'It is serving God and others persistently with full heart and soul that turns testimony of truth into unbreakable spiritual strength.'

During the times when our faith and morale are low and we struggle to put one foot in front of the other, it is essential that we persevere in our prayers, our scripture study, partaking of the sacrament, attending the temple and other commandments. By keeping the commandments we uphold our end of the covenants we have made with God and therefore, He is bound to bless us, as elder d Todd christoferson explains ' In these divine agreements, God binds Himself to sustain, sanctify, and exalt us.'' 

A friend sent me a link to a talk recently by Joseph B Wirthlin called 'come what may and love it'. This sentence changed my attitude and helped me put my circumstances into perspective. Elder Wirthlin suggested  "The next time you're tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable". My husband is great at applying this principle and I can't remember a day I've not laughed despite feeling my burdens were too heavy to bear at times. Richard G Scott explains that  A good sense of humour is an escape valve for the pressures of life and can help revelation. Both are things we need in order to remain faithful in adversity. 

Most importantly, in order to keep the faith, we need to endure to the end. We won't be perfect in applying these principles and remaining strong throughout our trials. That's ok, we just need to pick ourselves up and try again. It will feel hard to do, but each time we do it will feel easier. Elder Robert d hales testified that if we are obedient and diligent in doing what the Lord asks  'then our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost.'
What a comfort this is. 

Never forget that God is there for you, He has not abandoned you. President Eyring says 'Because you are so valuable, some of your trials may be severe. You need never be discouraged or afraid. The way through difficulties has always been prepared for you, and you will find it if you exercise faith.' It requires faith and courage to start each day afresh and try again,  but we can and we must. These times will not last forever, and Joseph B Wirthlin reminds us that 'The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.'