Like del boy I've found myself living for the future since I became ill and more particularly since having a reflux baby. I don't wish for money, although that would be nice. I find myself thinking of the day I'll be dancing again, running in the park with my boys. And most of all I look forward to the day that I can go on a proper date with my husband. We got together when I was very poorly and then children came along and zapped all my spare energy and our time. So dates are very few and far between.
I've been wondering recently if this way of thinking is healthy. But what do we live for if we don't have a hope for the future. The thought of the weekend gets us through our working week. The warmth of the summer helps us endure the wet and cold of the winter. If you're religious, like me, the promise of an eternal paradise with our friends and family waiting for us after this life sustains us through the hard times.
But we live in the present and if we're to get through it we have to find some enjoyment in it. They are precious moments that provide us with respite that propels us to keep going. They may be only brief, but they're enough. After a hard night of waking up countless times with my baby I awoke to his little hand on my face and a smile so wide greeted me as I opened my eyes. It didn't matter how tired I was, that scrumptious little face cheered me immensely.
Finding joy in the present can be difficult, but from experience, it's so necessary. Unfortunately, the power to have joy is within us. We are usually the ones that have to change to experience it. I say unfortunately because a lot of the time I want my circumstances to change. However, what I need to remember is that I'm fortunate to have the ability to be happy despite my circumstances. So, I'll be hunting daily to find these moments. Being happy is so much nicer than not!