Sometimes I can hear something I've already heard before and it hits me like new again. I had such an epiphany whilst speaking to my mother yesterday. She had been studying the scriptures when she came across a chapter that she felt she should share with me. This happens whenever I'm struggling, she always finds the perfect story or scripture to help me. After fighting against my trials for a while I've come to the point where I feel ready to listen to what I need to hear and this passage of scripture was just right. It's from the Book of Mormon and at this point some people are in bondage to another group. They pray and this is the response the Lord gives.
And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
I've been wanting and asking for my burdens to be lifted, but all I've been told so far is to be happy. Whenever I've heard talks or read scriptures and books, I've got the feeling I need to be happy. I just couldn't fathom how I could be happy about working like a Trojan everyday, with everything being such hard work. I could smile and pretend, but how could I be happy? Then when I read this I realised I had to accept that this is my life now and change my life accordingly. I've got to work with it. I once heard that if you don't like what you have to do then make it fun somehow. Anyone with a toddler knows that they love to have fun, so my two year old has been my inspiration. We sing and dance now whilst I pace the floor to get my baby to sleep as one example. My body still aches with pain, I still feel times of nausea but then that's when I'm given respite after doing all I can. I'll be blessed with a nap and rest while the boys sleep, or a friend will come over with dinner prepared or to ease my burden at home. My parents live 5 minutes away, so we often go round they do a lot for me. Not to mention how much my husband does at home! My job is to submit to my burdens cheerfully and I believe as I do so they will be made light.