6 Years of ME

t’s not the sort of anniversary I should really be taking note of, but I’m reminded every year as the anniversary of the day I became ill falls around four family birthdays.

I started to feel ill at a Saturday night birthday party then attempted to go to work on the Monday but I couldn’t go more than  5 minutes before I knew I had to turn around.  It was a steady decline of health from then. Six months on I  was diagnosed with ME / chronic fatigue syndrome. He we are, 6 years later. The prognosis at the time looked grim, and maybe I’m not cured, but I have a husband and two wonderful boys to show for it.

At the time I felt like my life had been taken away. Now I see, my life merely changed. Where ME / chronic fatigue syndrome takes away,  it also gives.

ME took away:

-Running,  dancing,  exercising,  walking long distances.

-My brain and ability to study,  formulate what I want to say,  think straight.

-A head and body free from pain, aches,  nausea,  tingles.

-Restful sleep.

-Having fun (or doing anything)  without paying for it with bad health after.

ME gives me:

-Patience

-The chance to work out my problems and calm myself down without needing distractions.

-The opportunity to find happiness from within,  regardless of anything outside.

-A lesson in putting myself and my health first to benefit my family and friends in the long run.

-Knowledge of my body,  it’s limitations and the ability to listen to it,  know what’s good for it and how to manage it.

-Time to spend with the people I love most and who love me.

-People who have shown their true worth and love  through selfless service,  compassion,  understanding and just being there even though I can’t give back.

-The possibility to take leaps of faith and trust in my feelings.

-A knowledge of a higher power that lightens my burdens when they get too hard and knows my needs.

These lists aren’t extensive,  there’s more to each of them. Yet it’s easy to see from looking at them the gifts I’ve been given through this experience are far more valuable than what has been taken away. I still have faith and a hope that I will get better,  and I’ll be a better person because of this.

Take a look at my website www.mecuperate.co.uk 

Reflecting on a year of learning.

We went away to visit family just over Christmas. I enjoyed it for three reasons: 1) seeing and spending time with my family, 2) seeing my boys enjoy playing and spending time with their cousins and 3) having an excuse to clear my mind of the endless 'to do' lists and enjoy some free time.

With it being New Year as well I was free to ponder on 2012 and everything we experienced and everything I had learned. 2012 was a big learning curve for me. It was filled with opportunities to learn some really valuable lessons. As I contemplated on those experiences I realised that I had a fresh start in 2013 to put what I had learned into practise. I have learned that our experiences on this earth, whether bad or good, are for our profit and learning. Everything is a lesson and if we choose to see it like that we will be greatly benefitted because of it. We will become better people, and we will be able to be happy regardless of our circumstances.

I also realised that some of the things I have found really difficult have actually been blessings in disguise. For example, I have felt trapped by my baby needing me for sleep due to his acid reflux, but him needing me has forced me to rest when I wouldn't have. These rests have prevented a relapse in my health, which I know would have occurred as increase in my activity has caused me to suffer some setbacks which would have been worse if I wasn't having all this rest.

So my one intangible goal for 2013 is to accept what I'm given. In the immortal words of Joseph B. Wirthlin 'come what may and love it.'

Slowing down for Christmas

Website, blogs, school runs, Christmas preparations, trying new recipes, poorly kids, poorly parents ... It's getting a little bit much and boy, am I feeling it! I stumbled across this quote the other day and it was just what i needed:

“The average woman today, I believe, would do well to appraise her interests, evaluate the activities in which she is engaged, and then take steps to simplify her life, putting things of first importance first, placing emphasis where the rewards will be greatest and most enduring, and ridding herself of the less rewarding activities.” Belle S. Spafford

I think we can all, healthy and sick alike, do with simplifying our lives a bit, especially around Christmas time. There's no need for hustle and bustle, we'll enjoy it much more if we step back and allow ourselves to soak in what's happening, rather than whizzing around getting this and that done and missing the joy and peace that abound when we think of the real reasons we are celebrating. 

Check out my website: www.mecuperate.co.uk

Building palaces

Today is remembrance day. I never fail to be touched and humbled during the couple of minutes we spend in silence remembering the fallen and sacrifice they made for our freedom. The older I get, the more this means to me. I feel truly grateful for the freedom they gave their lives for.

Thinking of the horrors of war led me to think of the people i have heard of or spoken to this past year who seem to be going through the refiners fire. Some of their trials appear incomprehensible and my heart aches for them. At times I wondered was it really necessary?
I'd been pondering the purpose of this life for a while. Then I stumbled on a friends wall post on Facebook and some inspired person had quoted this from CS Lewis:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that these jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making court yards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself. 

There it was, in words I could understand and make sense of. We are being made into palaces. Sometimes it feels as though we'd be content with a cottage if only the hard times would stop, but in those times we need to hold on to the picture of a palace and know we will get there!




My website : www.mecuperate.co.uk

Accomplishing goals: a new website!

A couple of posts ago I wrote about setting goals. I told you I would keep you posted on how they were going, and I'm pleased to announce I've accomplished one! Since I've suffered with ME I've had to rethink the idea of setting goals and very much had to follow Anne Shirley's advice in Anne of Green Gables. She says 'my future seemed to stretch out before me like a straight road... Now there is a bend in it. I don't know what lies around the bend, but I'm going to believe that the best does.' Whenever I set a physical goal I don't know if I'll be able to accomplish it. ME is known for putting bends in roads in the form of relapses, or dips in the condition. It's not easy to find beauty in these bends, but even though at times I don't want to believe it, I know that these bends do happen for a reason.
So, with this in mind, I feel even more excited that I've been able to accomplish my goal of setting up a website to help those, like me, who suffer with ME/CFS and fibromyalgia. I did start with the lofty idea of developing it myself, but that was too taxing for my brain fogged, mummy brain. Instead, knights in shining armour, called Netheads (www.net-heads.co.uk) , came to my rescue and helped my dreams come to life.

My hope for my website is that it will provide an online community where people can find advice and support, a place to share recipes to help us eat the right foods to fuel our bodies, and a place we can feel inspired and share our talents. We've all got some talents or hobbies. Nowadays it might take us a lot longer to accomplish them than before, but I think it's so important to our self worth to keep on with them. There's also a forum for carers to find support too.

Please take a look at my site and join us: www.mecuperate.co.uk

Preparing for the season.

The nature of the beast with an ME blogger is only being able to write posts when the going is good. Now the cold weather is hitting I'm having to pool my energies into the most important tasks, which, as ever, are my two munchkins. Saving some for handsome man of course.

I think this winter will be the test to see if I've really learnt anything this past year. The cold weather hits me like a ton of bricks and I'm not afraid to say that I hate it. My darling baby-turned-toddler is still intolerant, he still sleeps horrendously and he still suffers from reflux. In the summer weeks, when I felt at my best, it was easy to cope. However, I'm not going into this winter blind, like last year, so now when things seem too much, I know what to do to be able to cope.

I need to ACCEPT that this is what I have to experience. I need to ASK for help when needed. I need to REMEMBER that the things that made me happy with less pain and fatigue, can still make me happy with more pain and fatigue. I need to TAKE IT EASY and cut back on the activity I increased in the warmer months. And most of all, I need to remember that GOD LOVES ME, it's easy to forget when things get a bit harder, but there's no better comfort than knowing that you've got one friend who's on your side!

All that said, I still love winter time, I love the smell in the air, I love the crisp leaves under foot, I love snuggling under blankets, I love my birthday, Halloween, bonfire night and Christmas. Tis a great season ... If only it wasn't so cold!



My website: www.mecuperate.co.uk

Setting goals

We had a lovely road trip last week. As we travelled for miles with our kids asleep in the back I wondered how we had come from a screaming baby who couldn't eat anything, to a fully weaned toddler, who is mostly happy as long as we stick to the right foods. Without realising it our little baby is growing up and we are loving the boy he's turning out to be. Sometimes I moan about still having to feed him off to sleep, but when I think of all those months we had to vigorously pace the floor rocking him to sleep for hours, I think of how much easier it is now and am grateful!

Our trip left us feeling rejuvenated and revigorated. We felt like coming home was a fresh start, a new beginning. It was the perfect time to set goals. There are a few things about my life that I'm not content with and want to change, and I'm a firm believer that we are masters of our own destinies. If you want to do something or be somebody you've got to put in the effort! I've made my list of the things I want to change/improve/accomplish and it's my job now to do it and keep motivated.

Now motivation usually isn't a problem for me if I deem the task in hand important or I really want to do it. My problems arise when I come across a stumbling block and then I struggle to think of solutions. Fortunately, as much as we are masters of our own destinies and need to do the work, if we ask we can receive divine guidance. If we set worthy goals then we will be entitled to guidance to find the solutions we are looking for.

Knowing this and putting it into practise  I should be successful in my endeavours ... I'll keep you posted!