I was shocked to read on a GORD (gastro-oesophageal reflux disease) forum that the majority of mums on there are on antidepressants to help them cope. It shocked me because I realised that could very well be me. Many M.E sufferers experience depression too. I've got double the chance.
Ive never suffered from depression, for which i feel truly grateful, it is a horrible illness. There has, however, been so many times that I have felt despair at the situation I found myself in. So many times I cried and found it difficult to put things into perspective. There have been numerous occasions since becoming poorly with M.E that I have fought a battle with myself to be positive, happy and hopeful when I wanted to feel anger, hurt and self pity. Each time I have experienced that pull downwards I would literally drag myself up emotionally by the power of my choices.
The first step in winning the battle was to make the choice to want to be happy.
Once I made that choice I would turn to my Saviour. Like it says in Helaman 5:12 (Book of Mormon)
it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.
I knew then that with my Saviours help there was no way I could be pulled down to the depths of misery unless I wanted to go.
The last step was to enlist the help of my family. I needed their support physically to help me do the things I struggled to do myself, patience to bear with my emotions as i tried to gain control over them and encouragement to ensure me that i could win the battle
It's a hard battle to win and the fact I find myself still fighting it at times means its not over, but I know I can win!