I went out on Saturday night. It's been over 8 months since I had a night out of the house. I've turned down invites left, right and centre in favour of conserving energy and looking after my baby. I knew there would be consequences to having a night out. This is the main reason I haven't been anywhere. With M.E your body punishes you if you have any fun (this is what it feels like anyway.) But I did it, I went out. Baby in tow. And do you know what? It really was worth the consequences!
Right up until Saturday afternoon I wasn't going out. I didn't want to take out an awkward, screaming, refluxing baby. I didn't want to experience the increase in pain, the exhaustion and heaviness that would inevitably follow. And my husband had booked time off work to go to a football match as he knew I wasn't going out, so I needed to look after my toddler.
Then the night got closer and the realisation hit me - that some of my most favourite people in the whole world were meeting up and we hadn't had a night like this since we were single. Without a second thought my husband told me that I should go, he would miss the match and take our toddler on a boys night. My sister said she would help me get ready as she was coming too, and the others assured me that they were there to help me. I had lots of concerns, but the night went so well. There was lots of laughter, good food, but the company was the best.
Three days on and I'm still paying for it, but the emotional strength it gave me is worth every bit of pain, exhaustion and heaviness. Pacing is a good technique to help maintain your energy levels, but on rare occasions, a good blow out is needed to feed the soul!