I have consumed so much information about babies, their digestive systems and conditions pertaining to it that I am becoming overwhelmed by it all. There's so much to take in and my baby has so many symptoms that when I think I've reached the solution a spanner is thrown in the works and I'm left exhausted, confused and clueless again. I have one goal, and that is to find the solution to ease my babies pain, to make him happy, healthy and independent. My gut feeling tells me that he can get better. I spend my waking and sleeping hours trying to find out how.
After an emotional day last week I was told 'This is it, Jen, there isn't a solution you've got to live with it'.
I spent the boys nap time that day in earnest prayer. I wanted to know if I really was wasting my time. Had I been going down the wrong path this whole time? I read a general conference talk, which I can't find or remember now, but at that moment it was perfect. The speaker said whatever is important to me is important to Heavenly Father. I will know what is right and I have to stand up for it. My prayers will be answered.
The next talk I came across was the privilege of prayer by J Devn Cornish http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-privilege-of-prayer?lang=eng
Again, the message was repeated, what is important to me is important to Heavenly Father. I need to pray and my prayers will be answered. My job is to accept the guidance and recognise how my prayers are being answered.
I have felt immense comfort this week, knowing that when I felt alone in my quest I am not alone. I need to fine tune my abilities to recognise the promptings of the spirit to help me sift through the information I receive to try and find the help my poor baby needs.
This journey is painful, exhausting and relentless, but I need to remember that I am not alone. What a comfort!