'its times like these that create memories' my husband profoundly exclaimed last night as we ate cookies and reminisced at the time that I would usually be snoozing in my bed. I'd been child free for five minutes and as much as I knew I needed sleep I wanted to enjoy being 'free'. I knew I'd have to pay a penalty for making that choice, but the wise words of my husband are true. Bodies can recover, lost time can't be recovered.
My body will always tell me when I have stayed up too late, so being unable to fight it any longer I went to bed an hour later, just in time for my youngest to wake again needing a feed. Lucas wakes every 2-3 hours for a feed and around 5:30-6 am ish he will struggle with wind. If I go to sleep around 10pm I can cope, especially if I pad myself with pillows and sleep when Lucas feeds (which is a necessity for me to get sufficient rest). When I go to bed later, like last night, it makes life difficult. Today I am struggling to function. I am so heavy and weak, that I have to take a rest when I get to the top of the stairs. My chores are taking triple the time they usually take, and that's saying something as I'm usually slow. Because I feel so exhausted I'm impatient and get annoyed with loud noises or children being in my face. I'm constantly telling myself that I can handle it, keep calm. The house is a tip due to unfinished jobs and I don't have the energy to care. After 4 and a half years of having this condition I still don't cope with having bad days well.
So the jobs will remain undone, my lovely husband will probably finish them after work tonight. I will use what little energy I have on the kids and look forward to an early night tonight, thanks to football on the tv :)