That first week after we brought our baby home was wonderful. The sleepless nights were novelty, and who could begrudge such a precious little bundle. My body was fatigued, but I had my husband at home to do everything so I could rest and sleep well. My mum had also taken that week off to relieve my husband of some of the burden. After the week my husband and mum went back to work and I was left alone. Not only did I feel inadequate and unprepared to look after a baby, my son did not sleep during the day. I used to rock him, to no avail. Often he would cry and nothing I did could soothe him. He would sleep at night but wake every three hours and feed for an hour at night. I broke down in tears through sheer exhaustion. My sister would come and take Asher while I slept, which helped give me some energy, and sanity. I was, and still am, amazed at how well my body endured under those circumstances. I previously wouldn't have thought I was capable to withstand such conditions, but I did.
When Asher turned three months he became easier and started to nap in the day, and cry a lot less. I was able to get him in a nap and sleep routine and he slept longer in the night without feeds. This enabled me to feel much better. My energy levels improved and I found the nappy changing, bathing, feeding, carrying easier to do.
Around four months after birth I could feel my energy levels deteriorating and my M.E/CFS becoming worse. After talking it over with my husband and praying, I made the hard decision of stopping breastfeeding and giving Asher a bottle. We did this as breastfeeding requires lots of energy from a woman, and also so my husband could take over the night feeds allowing me more sleep. Although this helped, I realised that as Asher became more mobile he would need me to become more mobile. I needed to find something that would help me get better. I searched the internet and found a few techniques that claimed they may be able to cure my condition. I didn't know which to choose, but eventually I found one called the Perrin Technique that made sense to me and felt right, After speaking to the practitioner I felt excited. Treatment began and it went as predicted and I started to feel better. Gradually I was able to do more. My son started crawling then walking and it would take all my energy trying to keep up with such an active child, but I managed thanks to the treatment I was having. (My next post will be dedicated to the treatment).
A year after our first was born, with me feeling so well and a prognosis of being cured after two years, we decided to try for another baby. We wanted Asher to have a sibling, and a friend. It was another big decision, but this time it was easier to make, knowing what having a child entailed.